Reward and punishment/ consequence.


With the growing awareness around mental health and child safety has finally brought a change into the parenting style of parents today. Instead of violently punishing the kids, parents today punish the kids by various other techniques.

Children are shapeless and it’s their parents that have been given the responsibility of shaping these little ones. If, as parents, you take one step wrong, it can totally break your child’s future so you need to be very careful about how you deal with them.

One such technique advertised by various leading psychologists and child specialist is the reward and punishment technique. As the name suggests, this technique is used to reward the child on their good behavior and punish them for the bad ones. But keep in mind, your punishment should not be violent or aggressive in any sense. It should impact the child but not affect them.

Before you start using this technique with your kids, you need to first be well versed in it yourself.

Now, you need to understand that ‘REWARD IS NOT A BRIBE’, rather it is something that the child is earning for their proper behavior. Now, these rewards also vary in their types.

You need to correctly strike a balance between the two and not do excess or less of any of them both:


These rewards are those that the child actually, physically receives. Mind you that it always doesn’t have to be gifted.

Build a sticker wall and let your kid paste a cute sticker on it every time they do something appreciative. With older kids, you can always give them an extra playtime or TV time and can even so are them half an hour more before their bedtimes. Once in 4-5 times, you can always give them a little gift.


When kids receive intangible rewards it basically verbal appreciation and acknowledgment. Telling them ‘ you’ve been a good kid today’ or a simple ‘mommy/daddy loves you’ can also be left them to lift up. Be careful not to overpraise as kids can tell and then this wouldn’t be effective.

Try to always let your kid decide what rewards they want and then you can alter it accordingly. This way the kid gets motivated even further. Also, be careful with your words. Always use ‘when then’ statements. For example, ‘ when you finish your homework, then you can go to play’.

What you need to keep in mind about punishments is that they are actually consequences of what ill your child did, always try to make sure to convey the same message.

It should always be that you don’t impose actions on the child rather just hold upon the reward that was promised. This will help the kid to realize what they did wrong and they will peacefully understand the importance of behaving nicely.

Another tip for making your kids realize the consequence of bad behavior is that you must always conduct the consequence right after the wrongdoing and not delay it any further. Delaying the consequence will make the kid unable to connect both the consequence and the behavior together. If that happens there will be absolutely no change in the kid’s wrong behavior.  As parents, you need to also give the child time to realize and not be on their head all the time telling them what they did wrong. Let your actions speak.

Parenting can be tough but when you choose to have a child you also need to learn to bring them up. Always be the one your child comes to first when they need help. Correct them when they’re wrong but do not forget to praise them and point them out positively when they carry out nice behavior. By keeping in mind such minute details you are helping your little one grow and become the best of themselves. 

Photo Credit: dr_swapnil_photography

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