गुस्सा थूक दो ना!


There’s a proverb in Hindi that goes, ‘लोहा लोहे को काटता हैं’, which means that in order to break a thing, we need another thing of the same demeanor. I think my mother took this proverb way too seriously. 

Since my adolescent years, my mother has been telling me stories about how aggressive kid I was. But when I hear these stories, I never feel that they are mine, because now when I look at myself I don’t find myself aggressive in any form. But of course, people change with time, and so have I. 

Me and my twin sister used to fight a lot in childhood as long as I remember. Every time I used to beat my sister, I remember my mother encouraging her to beat me again.  The one vague memory that I remember vividly is that, when we were 1-2 years old, I used to take everything that my sister had in her hand. Even though the thing was always first offered to me, I never took the thing, and would only take it, once my sister had the thing.

This feels cruel to me as well, now that I think of it. But as a child, I don’t even remember why I did what I did.

So since childhood, as my mother saw me dominating over my sister, she wanted to make sure that I don’t become too aggressive a child. So she started to motivate my sister instead, telling her that she can beat me too and that she had the power to make me cry just like I used to make her cry.

And after some months of constant brainwashing, my mother was successful when my sister finally did punch me once. Obviously I did respond to it by punching her back. But it was then, that I felt the excitement of fighting with someone who had an equal chance of winning. Which means she did become aggressive while we’re fighting, which in a way ceased me from becoming angrier.

So I can firmly say that my aggressive behavior receded when I saw that the person on whom I would take out my anger has also started to respond equally.

I think aggressive behavior is a form of attracting attention. But if we pay the same attention to the person by love and compassion, maybe we’ll be successful in changing a person’s perspective on the ways that a person can become attractive.

Photo credit: Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay

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