Not enough, Time.


The dramatic scene in Bollywood, where a kid calls his parents to watch his match, but they don’t show up. And then how broke the kid is, with tears all over his face, indeed makes us emotional, but that does, feel extra, because of the fact that that kid is not ours. But indeed, a child does, feel like tearing apart everything, when his parents aren’t there to see the things, he is most excited about. 

I can’t say that my parents weren’t available, but neither can I say, that they were available. I don’t remember my parents missing some events, that were dear to me. However, I did miss them, not sitting with me, and taking my studies. 

I still remember, how I used to pester my mother to take my studies. Literally holding on her legs, just for some, of her time. Since childhood, I have been going to tuitions for studies, every single year, till my 10th grade.

What would hurt me was that everyone at the school, would unknowingly say their routine, wherein they would include studying with their parent, either one of them. But I never got the opportunity to sit and learn something from my parents regarding studies. Interestingly, when suddenly my mother would say, “Today I will take your studies.”, it would feel awkward and at the same time, fear of disappointing her, just because, these were the few moments wherein she would take my studies, and if I don’t answer her properly now, maybe she would never take me seriously again. 

However, now that I think of it, I understand that she is a working woman, coming home tired, and then doing all the household chores, she actually wouldn’t have had the time for taking my studies. In fact, she had no time for herself as well. All my grief and sorrow of her not giving me time subsides when I think, of how much she has done for me, rather than what she has not done. 

Surprisingly, she did help me in looking at the positive side, by not helping me in studies. However still looking at the positive side, I feel somewhere in my heart, I have taken I vow, of definitely spending some study time with my kids, because I know how that feels. 

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